So yes, Christmas is crazy. Two years ago was the first time in a long time that I got excited about Christmas. I think living on my own and having my own house to decorated spurred that on, and I really enjoyed the festivities. Last year was a very different experience. I was away from my own family for the first time on Christmas Day, and spent it with my soon-to-be in-laws. This Christmas will be back with my family, and I will have my husband with me, but it will still be very different.
With my grandmother’s death in January, the family dynamic has changed drastically and I, being a good little Southern Baptist, am terrified of this change and the way it will affect our Christmas get-together. I still won’t get the traditional turkey and dressin’, half the family won’t be there, and my grandmother’s house is bare bones in preparation to sell it.
So with all this difference, I am not excited about Christmas this year. I am stressed out and fearful and upset that I feel this way, when I know that this season is meant to be a time of joy and thankfulness and fellowship. I am trying to frequently remind myself that I have an amazing family (two families now!) and an absolutely out-of-this-world wonderful husband. He is keeping me grounded and doing his best to keep me calm. What his verbal reminders (“breathe… breathe…”) don’t do, a little bit of snuggling takes care of.
I will be very glad when this Christmas season is over and we can celebrate our anniversary and begin a new year.
